What Is Sadomasochism?
Sadomasochism (S&M) is giving or receiving pleasure from acts of inflicting pain or humiliation on a person. The term sadomasochism (or “S&M”) refers to the respective writings of the Marquis de Sade relating to the pleasure of hurting others and Leopold Van Der Masoch who wrote the eulogy of sexual submission. The masochist needs to be hurt or humiliated to feel pleasure. Contrarily, the sadist receives pleasure by inflicting pain or humiliation on others. Communication between consenting adults is necessary to understand and choose whether they want to participate in the erotic games involved in S&M practices. Finding yourself unprepared in a situation like this can be a traumatic event.
An S&M encounter takes place in the form of a scenario. Everyone has a role. There must be a dominant and a submissive. The dominant directs the scene. The goal is to be able to get your submissive to submit to you completely. We often see images of submissive men and women with their hands tied or blindfolded, but their roles are not definitive. It’s like a game, you have to let go and try everything, even switch roles from time to time.
For example, in a case of a man having erectile dysfunction, it may be reassuring for him to play a game where he doesn’t have the right to penetrate his dominant female. The man can submit to the woman without any hesitation since there is no pressure to perform. It may seem difficult to understand but some people need the pain and humiliation to feel excitement. This mode of sexual function is indicative of a person’s previous sexual experiences.
In S&M relationships, some couples use safewords. A safeword is a word that indicates when a person has exceeded their limit. For example, if the man is tied up and is whipped by his Mistress and decides the pain is too much for him, he can use the safeword to stop the scene. Trust is essential because pain and pleasure are mixed. There is no obligation from anyone participating in scenarios to do an activity they are not comfortable with.
BDSM accessories such as whips, floggers, ticklers, handcuffs, etc have been popularized in movies such as Fifty Shades of Grey. However, besides the attention they have received in mainstream media, these accessories can also be used to stimulate people who do not know their bodies … or are too afraid to explore their inner desires. For example, an alpha male may be hesitant to submit to a dominant female because he may think submitting to a dominant woman is emasculating. However, a scenario where he is being sensually dominated using these accessories may entice him to explore his submissive side further.
When we talk about sadomasochism, most people imagine rich CEOs who let their fantasies run wild in trendy fetish clubs. Yet S&M relationships are not reserved for a certain social class. Accessories can be expensive. But they are not absolutely necessary to have in a scene. It’s about giving free rein to your imagination. The main thing is to find what you desire the most and succumb to it.