Female led relationship : Guide to Tease & Denial

Maybe your partner has approached you about setting up a Female Led Relationship, or maybe he hasn’t.

The problem is, you have been told that you MUST set up an FLR if you want to be in charge. Not true! Maybe you do not want to be in charge of the finances, or even your day to day routine. Maybe you like things the way they are. Does that mean you can not use tease and denial (T&D) to have a little fun? Or maybe to get a few things you would like to have? Things like a better, healthier, more productive relationship? Absolutely NOT!

What would you say if I told you that you do not even need his permission to start using a little T&D to improve your relationship? On the other hand, being totally in charge might be quite appealing to you and you would like to know the best way to get him to agree to let you take charge of everything. Well, you DO NOT need his permission to use a little T&D to get the things you want, even if what you want is total control of him, his body, and his mind.

You will find extensive lists of various types of teasing and denial games you can use to keep things interesting for the both of you. Chastity is not necessary either. You can use male chastity if you decide it is something worth investigating, or if your partner decides he wants to try it out. But it is not necessary for a happier, healthier, sex life. All that is required is a little planning on your part. It is a game. A game with many little games hidden inside it. So prepare to start enjoying yourself, and your partner a whole lot more. Maybe even more than when you were courting.

It is not some up and coming thing couples do to be a part of the “upper crust” as it were. Tease and denial is about having fun. Both of you! Call it a game, if you will. The point of playing any game is to have fun, or at least, it should be. Back when we were in high school, and even college for some, any woman who dated a guy but wouldn’t have sex with him was called a “tease.” Now, many years later, we have discovered that being a tease, is a good thing. At least, if it is done right.

I get more questions from men and women about teasing than anything else I can think of. In fact, I probably get twice as many questions about this one subject than all the other questions put together. The second most often asked question from women is, “I do not really want to take charge of everything, but he wants me to. What can I do?” The answer to both of these questions is the same. Have fun! Let me be frank here. Because our biology is different, men are driven by different urges than women. I have said all this before, but it is still true. Men are driven by their desire for sex. “What about power or money?” you ask.

If you look at it realistically, both power and money are a means to an end. Powerful and/or wealthy men get more sex. Or, at least that is the perception. So when a man seems driven by either of those things, the truth is, he just wants what every other man in the world wants… More sex! I am not putting men down. Not by any means. In fact, if it were not for this fact, I would be out of a job. Men would be far too complicated to understand. As for women, we are complicated, and therefore, we are hard to understand. There are many different things that drive a woman. Power and money are only two of them. Most women are NOT driven by a need for sex, and here is why.

Our physiology is designed to procreate. There are only certain times during a month that we (when young enough) can even get pregnant. That means, for a short time each month, and it is different for every woman, we get the urge to have sex. The rest of the time, we are driven by something different. It might be taking care of the children we already have, finding a suitable man to help produce a child or two, or it may be the pursuit of something less meaningful, like power or money. My point is, a man has to be ready and willing to have sex whenever a (his) woman wants it. If he is not, she will find someone else who is. As for her, she has no such need. Women do not have to be ready to have sex whenever a man is. Therefore, it may seem like a chore to some women, trying to keep up with the demand made by the man (or men) in her life.

So it would seem that the scales are unbalanced. This may be the very reason why so many couples have problems in the bedroom. Even why so many get divorced. At least that is where it all starts. But there is a solution. As a woman, I have run into this kind of thing many times. I am sure you all have, at least at one time or another. Your partner wants sex far more often than you do. He may make you feel “bad” because you are just not able to do it. The problem is not that you do not want to, it is more a problem of scheduling everything and finding the time. What would happen if you suddenly found more time? Or if your partner helped you out around the house more so that you had more time available? Would you want to engage in sexual activity more often? I doubt it. Time is not really the problem. It is more a motivational thing.

You can find time to do anything when you are motivated. So the problem is, you just can not get yourself motivated enough to satisfy his “need” for more sex. If men could only get themselves to align their desire for sex with our schedule. Wouldn’t it be nice if men had a switch that could be used to turn off his sexual desire? Then when we want sex, when we are in the mood for it, all we have to do is flip the switch and he would be ready to go. Maybe the fault is not his. Maybe it is our fault. The problem, as I see it, is that too many women begin to see sex as a chore. Just one more thing they have to do to get through the week.

What if sex were really, REALLY FUN? Do you think you could find the time to engage in more sexual activities if it were more fun? Of course, you could. Chances are, you would. Okay, maybe your partner has not been pushing you to “take control” of him (or everything). Maybe you want to take control of him, maybe you do not. You do not need his permission to take control of any or all aspects of your life (and/or his). What you need is the right method of taking control that doesn’t feel like a great deal of work on your part. That is what this book is all about.

If you can see sex as something fun and exciting, chances are, you will want to participate much more often. It makes sense, does it not? Many women look at tease and denial as something they have to do to keep their partner satisfied. Or maybe, they think it is still a chore. In this book, I will not only show you why it is not a chore, but I will give you a step-by-step method that will guide you through setting up a routine with your partner. So, exactly what is tease and denial, anyway? Let me start by giving you the definition. The idea of tease and denial is simple. It means to sexually tease your guy without allowing him to ejaculate, which is the “normal” end to a couple’s sexual activity.

However, I want to separate the two, since I have seen too many couples (read wives) who do not fully understand the purpose of sexual teasing. To sexually tease your partner means that you do certain things to increase his state of arousal. It is like a power women hold over men (Erotic Power) that I have written about before. Most women, especially those just starting out, do not fully understand it. It took me quite a while to fully grasp the power that teasing can give me over any man. Too many women look at it as a chore.

Just one more thing their husband (or partner) wants them to do to make him happy. If your partner has approached you about setting up a female lead relationship or even just taking control of your sex-life in general, then I am sure he explained how doing such things will benefit you. But what he has not told you is just how much fun you can have with it (and him) if you do it right. Going into this kind of relationship does not have to be a chore. In fact, it should never feel like a chore. If you approach the whole thing as a game, it can be much more fun and entertaining. Though tease and denial are most often linked together, they are two separate things. Many men say they want to be denied an orgasm (more accurately, an ejaculation), but the truth is, they want more sex.

Denial (of ejaculation) is simply a means of maintaining their desire for sexual activity. As I have said before, immediately after ejaculating, a man will naturally lose all desire for sex (with the exception of certain younger men who can ejaculate several times without a break). How long it takes any particular man to recover from sexual release, varies from man to man. To deny a man his ejaculation is not enough, however, to maintain his desire for sex. If you simply ignore him, do not engage in any form of sexual activity, he will undoubtedly, find another method of release, such as masturbation. He may even resort to having an affair with another woman (or man as the case may be). But not having sex is not the same as the type of denial we are talking about.

When you tease a man and then deny his release, you are leaving him in a very high state of arousal. This is the point. There are some men who do not understand the benefits they get from being denied. Those men may get angry, or even hostile because they did not want to be denied. Denial, however, does have some benefits for men. Most men actually have more energy. Since they did not expend all the energy needed for ejaculation, that energy is now available and can be channeled into other activities. Since many men do not realize that they have extra energy, they end up wasting that energy by getting angry. Does that mean you can not deny him an orgasm after teasing him? Certainly not! It is all in how you approach the matter. Do you need his permission to take control of your sex life, or even your whole relationship? Again, no. I will show you how to approach tease and denial without having to explain what you are doing and without him getting angry when his orgasm is denied.

Put simply, you can have a female led relationship, or take control of any part of your life together, without having to go through all the formalities normally associated with setting up such an arrangement. So even if your partner has never approached you about such a relationship, you can start one up and run it your way (instead of his way) and he may never realize it has happened. He will just be happy that he is getting more sex. Maybe you like things the way they are. That is, you do not want to change your relationship, or to take charge of anything. But, if you want your relationship to last, you must at least admit that sex is going to be important. If for no other reason, keeping harmony in your relationship is important.

Therefore, you need to make it fun for the both of you. Basically, everything is in your hands. The important part is to remember that “sex” or “sexual activity” does NOT mean sexual “intercourse.” In other words, we are going to be talking about a great number of ways to “have sex” without having intercourse. I understand that for some of us, intercourse may be difficult or even uncomfortable. Many of us have a low sexual drive for one reason or another. But that no longer needs to be a deterrent to sexual activity. If you can change your way of thinking, and I know you can do it, then sex, especially tease and denial, can be exciting and fun. By thinking of sex as something that can be fun and exciting, you will have more desire to participate in sexual activity. Your attitude toward sex will make all the difference. It can make or break your relationship. If you are serious about making your marriage more exciting, more fun, and more successful, then you must have the right attitude. If you enroll your child in an after school activity that you think will be fun, but your child does not find it fun, they will not have a good attitude toward it. Their attitude may very well effect you and your relationship with them.

They will moan and groan every time you tell them that it is time for them to practice whatever it is. They try to find excuses for not going to practice. In other words, they will make your life miserable simply because they do not enjoy that particular activity. Sex is the same. If you do not think sex is fun, you will try to find ways to get out of doing it. Your partner will get the idea and become frustrated with you. Your relationship will begin to suffer. Ask yourself one question: Is your relationship worth it? If you can look back and see that you have far less sex now than you did a few years ago, or when you first got together, then you need to ask yourself why. Why do you not have as much fun now as you did then? The answer is simple. It is not as much fun as it was back then, Right? Why not? Has something changed to make it less exciting? No.

And that is the problem. Nothing has changed. It is boring. So do something about it. Make it fun, again! There comes a time in a man’s life when all he wants from sex is to ejaculate. He can do it himself and masturbate, or he can, as he may think is his right, have intercourse with his wife (assuming he is married). But even if he gets sex whenever he wants it, he will not enjoy it as he once did. Why? Simply because no one has ever taught him any other way to have sex other than intercourse. How sad. If they only knew that there are a million other ways to enjoy sex without intercourse. Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with sexual intercourse. However, once he ejaculates, it is usually over. Right, ladies? He does not have the energy to continue and satisfy your needs. The real problem is, that is normal. It is the way he was built. He can not really help it. The older he gets, the less energy he will have after he ejaculates. Oh, and he can only do that once and he is done. Women, on the other hand, do not have that problem. We can have more than one orgasm. We can have several at a time, well, one after another, or we can take a short break and then have several more.

But have you ever “finished him off” and been left unsatisfied? Of course you have. That is because of that loss of energy, among other things, he experiences when he has an orgasm. It should be becoming obvious, where the problem lies. His orgasm. So what can you do about it? There are two basic things you can do. The first is, make sure he always satisfies your needs before you satisfy his. Or… use some tease and denial to make sure you get what you need even if he doesn’t. This book will teach you how to do the latter.

The Ultimate Guide To Tease & Denial