My Femdom Devotional and Journey into submission

Femdom Devotional: When did it all begin? Where shall I start?

As far as I remember, I was about 5 years old and I remember very clearly being in painting class at my first Infant School…

We were asked to paint a picture of the seaside, and yet most of us, I guess,  had never seen it let alone knew what it looked like.

I started what I thought the painting might look like and as it appeared satisfactory to me a young girl came over to me and looked at what I had done. Her name was Kathleen.

She then said,

• “Not bad, but come and look at mine.”

So I went over and looked at it and knew straight away that it was far better than mine.

When she had asked me what I thought of it, and I  told her that it was very, very good, she instantly declared:

• ‘’ I am better than you!”

There was no way I could deny that and I felt inferior.

I asked her to show me how to do it and she did and i was even more impressed and felt even more inferior.

My first fantasy about surrendering to a girl for sexual favors!

Time passed and I became just a normal child growing up. When I was about 12 I encountered a very pretty girl at School called Wendy. She was dark-haired and wore her hair in a Bob. She had a girlfriend who was always with her and she was called Ann, ( I think).

Anyway, puberty was calling me to take an interest in girls and these two rather pretty girls became the objects of my masturbation fantasies. The one who was the prettiest became a special object of my fantasies and I worshipped her. I could not even look at her without going ‘red’. The other girl who was with her and blonde seemed more ‘common’ albeit that she too was very attractive and was given her fair share of admiration.

I don’t exactly know when it happened but as I fantasized about Wendy, and knowing all the time that all the other boys fancied her, I thought  I would need to offer her far more than they did.  I did not feel altogether confident with girls and I did not find myself attractive.

I recall one particular masturbation fantasy wherein I said in my mind to her;  “I want to be your slave”, ” Please let me be your slave”. I begged her to be her slave, unreservedly.

Of course, it never happened that I got to know her, nor have sex with her, but the experience of surrendering to a girl for sexual favor was now to be the norm.

After Junior school, my fantasies grew even further…

During the time at my second Infant School the teacher used to tell us stories about the Romans and the Egyptians, Greeks etc, and almost every time they mentioned; ‘slave’ i would go ‘red’.

After Junior School, my fantasies grew even further, and then we had our first Television, and the women who graced our screens started to become very attractive and were often used as a basis for masturbation fodder, as it were.

I then found out about sex magazines from my friend and there was plenty to enlarge upon there but little about Femdom however but it did not seem urgent or important right then. Little by little I used to see girls with boots and kinky ideas presented themselves to add to my Fantasy creations. The symbolism of boots was one thing; then there was leather and finally, I saw women with whips and that was it. The ‘full kit’ was available to me in order to create even greater Fantasy.

I bought a large number of magazines in those days and the following years and days thereafter.

At the age of seventeen with my sap now greatly rising and having hard-ons at almost any girl who caught my eyes I found out that my Artistic talent had developed and I was now so confident of my abilities that I wanted to become an artist so strove to go to Art College. Again this was the beginning of the Beatles and the Hippie Culture and Art Colleges were hotbeds of sexual appeal. We used to have nude models there of course but they were mostly unattractive. I did take a fancy to one girl at College but timidity and sexual inhibitions lay in my way and again I could not engage with her or anyone else either.

Then, A trip to London

Then one day at Art College we went on a trip to London and that really opened my eyes quite a bit. There was SOHO and its Strip clubs and dens of iniquity which I found extremely fascinating and of course, there were the ‘Dirty ‘Bookshops.

This expanded upon my interest in Femdom and it was fast becoming an obsession with me by this time too.

I then saw the Newsagents Windows with their Cryptic Card Messages in the Windows and later on were the ones in the Telephone Boxes too.

Now, these really got me going, as many were obviously prostitutes and many also did Domination; Spanking; Caning, and the like, which equally I grew to like very much indeed.

By the time I was eighteen, I resolved to go to London on my own and did so bringing back many many cards from Telephone Boxes and many magazines to do with Femdom itself.

Later on, I became engrossed with Contact Magazines and resolved to visit a Mistress sometime after the age of 23 but certain things stood in my way. I had very little money or was having to go to work. That was what largely held me back.

I did visit London again a couple of times and attended a Prostitute once but it was quick, mechanical, and soulless so I stuck to my Femdom quest.

Dumped by my Fiancee after 4 years and after search for a Mistress and Femdom devotional!

However when I was 19 I became attached to a Girl who became my Fiancee and that was me, stuck and out of Femdom for 3 to 4 years.

I was still very much of a Virgin when finally a the age of about 22 my Girlfriend and I had it when we were on a boat on the Norfolk Broads.

At last, I knew a woman and felt delighted of this passage into manhood.

When my Fiancee finally dumped me to marry another man I once again became a Free Man.

It was then that I recommenced my search for a Mistress and Femdom Devotional.

I went to London again and decided to visit a Mistress and eventually settled for just anyone as I was getting desperate by this time. She was fat and unattractive and I saw very little of her during the session, as we were in a dark basement in Earls Court somewhere and she merely whipped me and whipped me until she was satisfied that I had had enough. I  was very we’ll be marked all over my back, legs, and bottom; and I recall her saying how well I had stood up to it; and said “Look how I’ve marked you”.

I was thrilled that at last I had done what I had dreamt of for so very long and went home on the Train very sore but very, very satisfied.

This became the start of many attendances over the years and I can remember many of them too…….

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