Explore different styles of female dominance, and understand how to best keep a submissive in his place. Inside and outside of the bedroom, dominance is a way of life, an attitude, a personality trait, and a sexual turn on!
What does he mean by dominate him? Why does he want me to dominate him? I’m sure you have many questions swirling around inside your head now that you’ve discovered the world of female led relationships. There are many submissive males in the world just dreaming that their girlfriend or wife would entertain the idea of dominating them, so your partner is very lucky that you’ve decided to read this book. That you aren’t scared off and creeped out by the idea. Male submission is largely misunderstood, surrounded with false ideas and taboo’s, this book will help you understand what it is, and how it works.
My previous book, Practical FLR: Lessons For A Female Led Relationship, talked about why this type of relationship works so well and served to introduce it in a gentle way without being overly sexual. This book will explain how to create the best type of female led relationship for you based on your own style of dominance. It will dive much deeper into the sexual aspect because when you take control of a male’s sex life, you take control of the male. Sexuality is too often approached with a nervous and awkward mindset, resulting in millions of people never understanding how good their body is designed to feel, and never exploring depths of what it’s capable of.
The amount of inhibitions surrounding sex, from guilt and shame to anxiety and apathy, is an epidemic. We lack emotional connections and understanding our partners, simply because we don’t communicate how we feel, and we certainly don’t have our sexual needs fulfilled. We are lost, chasing our desire in the dark, hoping someone can fill the gaps we don’t take responsibility for. Female Dominance can be the solution to all of that, not just a solution, but also a way to help you and your submissive thrive in life.
Yes, it’s different, and yes, it’s a learning curve, for both of you. It’s a big step to take, but it’s worth taking, so congratulations, this is your first step into a better and much larger world. It’s not a surprise if you’ve been introduced to this lifestyle by your partner. More often than not, it is the male that brings up the idea of a female led relationship. Strange right? It’s incredibly common to be blind sided with a partners weird fetishes and kinks and have no clue how to respond. Not to mention, males are typically terrible at approaching the topic in the first place.
I think nearly all women have encountered creepy males into cross dressing or wanting to serve them in some way before even needing to know her name. This really does create negative connotations and provides the wrong context about what female dominance, male submission, and a female led relationship actually is. It’s becomes an automatic response to judge any male that brings it up, and completely turn her off the idea without a second thought. This creates a serious problem for submissive males already in a relationship, after many previous rejections, he has no idea how to bring it up without scaring her off. It has him nervous and awkward and afraid of how she might react. So he will likely bottle it up, for a long time, while he tries to figure out a way to tell her gently.
Then one day, he can no longer hold it inside, and he decides to tell her…. you. In all probability, he bought this book to gift to you, and here you are reading it, while he waits patiently with his fingers crossed hoping that he hasn’t made a mistake. He wants nothing more, than for you to at least be open to trying it before outright saying it’s not for you. If you shun the idea without trying it, he will be forced to suppress his submissive desire, and that sadly leads to barriers in communication that are near impossible to break. It creates a clueless/awkward factor between you. He will push, and you will pull, until he shuts up about it and suffers in silence.
Yes, suffers. Submissive males have a deep desire to submit, it’s not something that he can simply make go away. It will constantly nag at him, and he will want more than anything to express these desires with you. He will suppress it out of respect for you, and out of a fear of losing you because of it, but it will create a void within him that he will always long to fill. This void, will likely have him browsing the internet while you’re not home, masturbating to female domination pornography and all the fantasies that come with that.
It will likely be his only outlet for exploring his submissive desire. It is a hardwired core aspect of who he is, and he longs for someone to accept his true self, and he’s offering himself to you first and foremost. Some males may even take it a step further, and visit a dominatrix behind their wives backs. Don’t panic, if you found this out about your partner, perhaps even discovering his submissive side in the process, it doesn’t mean he cheated. The majority of the time, visits to the dominatrix don’t involve sex. Sessions might involve handcuffs and whips and chastity cages, but not sex. His sessions with the dominatrix are purely meant to satisfy his need to be dominated, and he would much rather do it with the woman he loves, than resort to paying for it elsewhere.
This usually happens after the communication barriers are formed, and he’s suffering in silence. Unless you decide to take action. The most important thing you must realize, is that he wants to submit. He craves it, he’s more desperate to submit than he is for sex itself. Just being open to talking and listening, will make him feel better about it and will give you insight into whats going on inside his mind. Try not to be judgmental about anything and just hear him out, and ask questions if you have any.
If you find yourself having resistance to his ideas, perhaps take some time afterward to think about why you have a resistance to something you’ve never tried before. Much of our beliefs are instilled into us by other people, parents, religion, society, bad relationships and so on. They tell us who we are, without allowing us to actually explore who we are. It makes us quick to judge and slow to change, we resist all sorts of possibilities as a result, and create our own limitations. He is giving you a chance to explore your own sexuality, and if you can look at it that way, it will help you be a lot more accepting and willing to experiment, even if it’s just a trial run for a limited time. It may feel foreign and awkward at first, but perhaps you can agree to a one month trial. Have a sit down with him, and ask him exactly what his ideal way to submit might be, and what particular fetishes, and fantasies he has.
Make him write them down, have him create a list, this is one good way to begin asserting yourself with a little bit of dominance. Read the list over, and understand, that you don’t have to entertain any idea that you don’t want to. He’s going to hope that you do at least want to entertain some of the ideas. Or have ideas of your own, which is ideal. Once you have the ideas you like, or will entertain, you can create a plan. Creating it together can in and of itself be a bonding experience, especially for him. The fact that he’s made it this far will likely have him overjoyed like a kid at Christmas, even if he’s not outwardly expressing it yet. You can be creative in coming up with a plan that suits your lifestyle. It doesn’t have to be a drastically complicated plan, but you can come up with some simple rules for him to obey around the house. Simple things like, he cooks instead of you, or he does the housework instead of watching sports.
Which will enable you to enjoy more free time, while he learns how much you really do around the house. Which he may discover, is a lot more than he thought, but his desire to submit combined with your interest in his desire to submit, that will have him extra motivated to do a good job. You haven’t even started yet, and as you can see, the benefits of having a stress free home life are a great incentive to go for the trial run. There are enormous sexual benefits in it for you too. Despite him creating a list of fetishes and fantasies its best if you lead all aspects of what happens sexually from the very start. You don’t want to just let him explore his fantasies, because that means, you’re not really dominating him.
It becomes all about him, and not about you. You don’t want him leading the way and telling you how to dominate, that’s called topping from the bottom. So it’s best to control this right away and allow him to explore his fetishes only on your terms. If the idea of having a submissive that wants to pleasure you, is a turn on, then it would be a good idea to order him to orally service you as soon as you’ve agreed to the one month trial. Heck even if the idea still feels foreign to you, give the order simply because you can. Now is the time to put all your inhibitions to the side, and just relax and enjoy his attention.
He may be taken by surprise that you’d be so bold so quickly, but it will also invigorate him and you may be surprised at his enthusiasm. If he is not the best at giving oral, and you’re feeling extra bold, now is the time to tell him that he sucks at it. One benefit of being dominant, is that you never have to settle for mediocre sex, ever again. Feel free to correct him and direct him to do it the way you want it done. Slower or faster, sucking instead of licking, be vocal and tell him. He is going to learn to become an expert at providing you with the best oral you can ask for. When he is finished, it’s important that you don’t reciprocate, and tell him not to masturbate. Tease him by telling him he will get attention next time. Then carry on about your day, or turn the lights out and go to sleep.
This can create a perfect mood for affectionate cuddling with him afterward, and that will stimulate his desire for you deeply. Over the next 24 hours, he will be like a puppy dog. An extremely appreciative, loving, teary-eyed puppy. He will shower you with attention. You will begin to discover that your power over him, is far greater than you could ever have imagined. After your first 24 hours, you just might already be getting a sexual power rush of your own, and you haven’t even done anything on the list yet. You’ll be surprised about what can happen in a week, never mind in a month. If you are too shy to give the order to orally service you, don’t worry, you can start slower and work your way up. Perhaps you could start with having him give you a massage and keeping it non sexual, and just take advantage of his willingness to please, and how effective it will be.
Maybe you want him to fold the laundry or fix the leaky tap under the kitchen sink, give that order, and watch how fast things get done around the house, things that may have taken 6 months of pestering about before. It should eventually lead to sexual activities, perhaps reward based, for doing the things you asked. The point is to start somewhere, so you can start to see the benefits that power exchange can bring to your relationship.
The beautiful thing about it, is that you can move at your own pace. Males will typically want to move faster, as quick as possible, he wants you to break out the handcuffs and ball gags on the first night, whereas you just might want a back massage until you fall asleep. Always maintain control by setting the pace, if he tries to get you to do more than you’re willing, you have to firmly tell him no. As you get used to the idea of his submission and his willingness to obey you, you will likely want to explore a little further and maybe entertain some of the fetishes on the list. You might even find yourself naturally taking charge, and being a little more assertive or aggressive than usual. It may even start to make you feel more confident in yourself, and in your body.
Especially as you notice an increase in chivalry, flattering compliments, and how he is becoming a hopeless romantic bringing you flowers or taking you out for a nice romantic dinner. He will crave to do these things, because he wants to make you happy in any way that he can. As the month progresses, you’ll be able to see the benefits both in and out of the bedroom. You may find that you’d rather keep it in the bedroom, as a sexual activity only, this is not uncommon. It’s a great way to spice up the sex life, which will bring you closer together as a couple, without really changing either of your behaviors or lifestyles. What woman is against having a male that wants to learn how to give her the best pleasure possible? Keeping it in the bedroom is a good way to fulfill his need to submit, and there are so many different ways to experiment that it never needs to get boring. It all depends on how sexually adventurous and open you’ll allow yourself to be. Baby step into it and enjoy the journey. Another reason to keep it in the bedroom only, is because, despite him being a submissive, it doesn’t mean he is a pushover.
There are many submissive and successful business men, bosses, entrepreneurs and leaders in the world. Yet they still want to submit to the woman in their lives, because it gives him a healthy balance of control and surrender. Which is also what becoming dominant will do for you as well. A female led relationship, will give you the power you deserve. Some submissive males will be inclined to want to give up more control. You will discover this during the one month trial, and see how the chemistry is throughout it.
You may really enjoy the benefits beyond the bedroom as well. Imagine being able to watch a chick flick without him complaining, and even happy to cuddle up with you to watch it. He may even be the one suggesting them! His efforts to support you may be something you wish to develop even more as the month trial progresses. Mistakes will be made, you’ll both likely forget the rules you setup for the trial once in a while, but that’s okay. Talk about it, and then keep going! Perseverance will go a long way. As you both develop new ways of thinking due to the power exchange, it might begin to feel natural, and preferred. Eventually, you will be able to turn his fantasy to submit to you, into your dream. That’s when things get really interesting. That’s when you begin having him submit in all the ways that turn you on and benefit you, and as a couple. You’ll be able to make him meet you on all the levels of your being. Emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.
This may be difficult for him, as it’s not exactly his fantasy, but it’s important to understand that it’s never about his fantasy. It’s about his desire to submit, entertaining his fantasies is purely your choice, and that’s where you will watch the magic of your dominance unfold, and he will learn what true submission is. After the one month trial is over, and you’re still interested in becoming his dominant, it’s time to take a look at what dominance is and the many different domination techniques you can use to your advantage to create the best female led relationship to suit your particular style of dominance and lifestyle. This book, will help guide you into becoming not only his dominant Mistress, but also his leader.