Many couples are now beginning to realize that inequality can lead to a stronger relationship. Most modern, educated couples have attempted to adopt a shared partnership. However, this can lead to friction and confusion about roles. As women continue to make advances in the workplace and in education, some couples are coming to recognize women are the naturally dominant sex. By no means all, but some men are more than happy to cede control to a woman.
Women are now more educated than men. It has been shown that they are better decision-makers because they are more in touch with their emotions and less likely to lose their temper and make rash decisions. Women have also traditionally controlled the purse strings in a relationship to at least some degree and have been responsible for making major financial decisions.
These factors have made a female-led relationship (FLR) very attractive to some. An FLR is not about the man ceding control of all decisions to the woman. Every female-led relationship is a partnership, with shared decision-making and responsibilities. But when there are two heads of household, the final decision is often stressful, with both parties holding on because they do not want to lose ground to the other.
An FLR solves this issue by making the woman the absolute final authority. It is very similar to a traditional marriage, as we might imagine it in the 1950s, except that the roles are reversed. This was a stable relationship model which survived and thrived for many years and which could weather many stresses because of the clean division of labor. The man went out and worked, and the woman kept the home. It was the job of the man to be the provider, the protector, and if need be, the disciplinarian. He needed to have absolute control and if his wife needed correction, it was his husbandly duty to spank her or punish her by taking away privileges.
It was the job of the woman to keep the house functioning smoothly, to cook and to clean, and to make sure the experience of her husband when he was at home was as smooth and relaxing as possible. After all, he was the one who went out and fought the world every day. She had to provide for him in the home as he did for her in the outside world. In social situations, she was to make him shine. She was to listen to his every word and smile and do everything she could to make everyone realize how powerful her man was.
Of course, this model was rife with abuse and stagnation as well. Many were as unhappy in these stratified gender roles as people in enforced equality are today. The main realization of the Female-led Relationship is that that relationship simply WORKS for some people. Just as there are men who may be naturally dominant, women are now freer than ever to assert their own dominance and men are freer to submit to a loving, protective, and strong woman. This type of relationship survived for so long because it worked. These days, there may not be an option for one partner to be the ‘house-husband’, but the roles can still be respected and great benefits can still be realized.
By no means can we pretend that the female-led relationship model is as accepted as the traditional one. In some places, it may be openly disparaged. Sometimes quite forcefully, which can lead to harassment and abuse of the individual or couple seeking this relationship. However, as with all models, it is important that this behavior be normalized. And if it truly works for an individual and he or she can find a match, it should be pursued so that maybe one day it can truly be lived in the open.