Achieve Orgasm Through Hypnosis? Welcome to the Hypnosex Fetish
An “erotic hypnotist” reveals the secrets of her lucrative business.
Hypnosis has been known to help people suffering from addiction, anxiety, and phobias. It’s also thought to be effective in chronic pain management, behavior modification, and sleep promotion. It’s not, however, often framed as an erotic enterprise.
Cue the hypnosex community.
Also known as “erotic hypnosis,” hypnosex refers to the art of delivering erotic pleasure through hypnotic suggestion. Those who perform the hypnosis are known within the community as “hypnodommes” (hypnotist + dominatrix). They are almost always women.
The overwhelmingly male clientele can entertain the fetish by purchasing audio files from their hypnodomme of choice. Since the community is relatively small, in-person sessions are rare, thought to be both costly and time-consuming.
There is no official licensing body regulating the field.
Ember Larimar is a 32-year-old professional hypnodomme. On her website, she writes, “I believe hypnotizing a man can be everything from debauchery to high art—and I have loved everything about it for nearly 10 years.”
Like most hypnodommes, Larimar’s services come in the form of MP3 downloads, which her clients listen to at their leisure in the comfort of their own homes. Her recorded sessions cover a wide range of erotic fantasies, from forced bisexuality, public masturbation and lesbian domination to goddess worship and slave training. For completely custom audio sessions, Larimar charges $300 for up to 30 minutes, and $100 for 10 minutes of brainwashing/subliminal/whisper audio loops. The extreme niche fetishes are more costly.
AlterNet had the opportunity to chat with Larimar about her experiences as a professional hypnodomme.
Carrie Weisman: What does erotic hypnosis usually look like in practice?
Ember Larimar: Erotic hypnosis can go in any direction. I do femdom erotic hypnosis, and a lot of erotic hypnosis is based around the domination/submissive power exchange… Being taken under by someone else, that vulnerability, that mental connection is really intense for so many people. But there is a range. You wouldn’t even believe the range.[Erotic hypnosis] can also be a platform to explore just about anything because it is a mental experience. Any fetish you can think of, from foot fetish and watersports to cuckholding can also be explored in a hypnotic session.
CW: Do clients always get hypnotized?
EL: When done properly, [hypnosis] involves an induction into a hypnotic trance. There are many people who have an actual hypnosis fetish — the act of going into a hypnotic trance is what’s alluring to them from the fetish perspective. So, obviously for them, the longer induction and time spent on really taking the mind under is erotic in and of itself.
Then there are people who like the idea of it. They don’t necessarily need the “real” hypnosis. I’ve even heard people talk about some of my sessions and other sessions, which include real inductions that might be 10, 12 minutes long saying, ‘I just cut the beginning off and listen to the good part.’ So they didn’t even bother with the hypnosis, they just wanted someone telling erotic stories. It just depends on what the person wants.
CW: Are there any ‘hypnodoms’ out there, or male erotic hypnotists?
EL: There are definitely plenty of male erotic hypnotists. There are some who are really good, really talented. And then there are certain sites where people are… Oh man, I’ve listened to a couple of sessions from male hypnotists where you can actually hear them jerking off while they’re recording the session. When I hear a session that claims to be about one thing but then is clearly only about the hypnotist’s gratification, it just strikes me as taking advantage of a subject in a non-sexy way. When it’s that selfish, you have no care or concern for your subject.
But that’s absolutely not to say all male hypnotists are like that. There are some really killer ones: skilled, prolific and ethical. It’s a pity the market won’t bear male hypnotists the way it does female. I think more guys deserve lucrative fan clubs.
CW: Do you actually have to be dominant to be a hypnodomme?
EL: I’m a lifestyle dominant and a professional dominant. You don’t have to be both. I expect there are some people out there just playing the part. You don’t actually have to be a domme in your real life to be a professional hypnodomme in the same way you don’t actually have to be a 20-year-old college virgin to get on a phone sex line and say you’re a 20-year-old college virgin.
CW: Are the majority of clients male?
EL: Absolutely. It’s the laws of supply and demand. There are so few dommes for how many male subs there are. And there are so many male doms who would love a female sub.
If you think about it, so many erotic services are based on what men are going to buy. A lot of it is based on what men want to see because men are the ones who pay for erotic services. Women don’t tend to, so we don’t cater to them. [If we did], we wouldn’t be able to pay our rent.
CW: Have you ever had a female client?
EL: Yes and no. Yes in that I have worked with a couple of women, however, they are members of couples. It might be a master and his submissive female wife and he wants her “trained” hypnotically in a particular way …to increase some aspect of her submission. And perhaps she’s not done hypnosis or she tends to fall easier for a female voice, so they’ll commission sessions from me.
CW: Do clients typically masturbate during the sessions?
EL: Yes, certainly. There are some people who find the act of masturbation is too disruptive and would prefer not to do it during trance. But many people definitely do. There are sessions that almost require clients to orgasm during the trance. There are sessions that are designed to try to help people achieve hands-free orgasms. There is a lot of stuff around orgasm that a lot of people really like to accompany and direct enhanced masturbation.
CW: How is the industry evolving?
EL: The market in erotic hypnosis is definitely changing. It used to be almost this underground fetish. There were people in small communities dedicated to pursuing their love of erotic hypnosis, but as it’s caught on a little bit more, it is widening up. In some ways it’s really good, in some ways it’s not so good.
The market becomes a little flooded with people who look at erotic hypnosis and go, ‘Well shit, I could do that.’ Maybe they’re already on a site somewhere and they offer X Y and Z services and they say, ‘Well I’ll just throw hypnosex in there, it can’t be that hard.’ So there are a lot of other people who are now offering erotic hypnosis, which isn’t even necessarily even hypnosis. But hey, I mean, if people are going to pay for it, more power to those women.
CW: Why do you enjoy the work?
EL: I like it for a lot of reasons. As a dominant woman, it’s very attractive to me to be able to set my own hours, to get to choose what I do when I do it. I have absolutely no one to answer to and no expectations. If I want to take a week off, I take a week off. If I decide there’s someone I don’t want to talk to anymore because they’re obnoxious, I say bye-bye. That, to me, is very attractive.
What I like about doing the actual process of hypnosis is that I get to be creative. I love writing. I like creative erotic storytelling which is part of creating the sessions. I even like designing the graphics. A lot of people wonder if it’s a sexual outlet for me, and it’s not really in the professional sense because I’m really focused. I’m really focused on my pacing, my tone, the subject’s reaction. I’m working. I’m trying to make this an experience that is good for somebody and I’m definitely not having a sexual experience myself. However, I do like the power rush. I do like having control over a consenting partner. That will never fail to appeal to me.