Testimony of Queening Furnitures’ Designer

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Queens and Kings – Hardcore Comfort

 

Designing and building sex furniture is a tough occupation, but someone’s got to do it! Nicky at Queens and Kings started in 2000, after being put out of business making straight furniture…

”I couldn’t compete with mass producers like IKEA. So what would you expect me, a sex-mad furniture designer, to do in that situation?  I would’ve thought it was obvious – invent the 21st-century queening stool! It was 14 years ago; the only references to queening I could find on the internet was about playing chess and breeding apples. I couldn’t relate either of them to sex, although I wavered a bit at the thought of the apple breeding!”

“Back then, sex furniture was pretty thin on the ground, so it looked like a promising idea. I made sure my designs looked really kinky, but glitzy too, for clubs and potential movies, both of which have happened.”

“As soon as it was launched, the Queens and Kings website caught on, particularly in the USA and, although my operation is still too small to even attempt to big up, my stuff does go out all over the world.”

“First it was queening ­stools, then queening pillows, then queening chairs, then a queening throne – people sure like queening!”

“I started to think up other ideas, like The Long Slippery Slope, The Worship Chamber, The Love Slope, a suspended swinging bed, a cuffed spanking block, a suspended bolster – it’s all there on my website… ”

“The only problem is, every new sex design has to be road-tested by me. Again … and again … and again. Life’s a bitch!”

“Although all the additional designs are quite popular, queening furniture is what my clients are most interested in. I’ve been copied quite a bit; but I guess there’s room for everyone and, because I was the first on the block, I’ve remained established.”

“At the end of the day, I guess I’ve got IKEA to thank – for putting me out of business. I’ll tell you, it’s a lot more fun making something that you know a hot lady is going to be got off on, rather than making her something to put the china in. Happy queening!”

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