I have been dominating my husband for 5 years now. I want to talk to you about the following subject: “How can a man who wants to become a submissive man convince his wife to be his dominant?”


This is a fact that a woman can naturally be a femdom but it is often a desire of his partner to live a domina/submissive relationship. Some submissive men can be afraid to ask this of their partner.

If you are one of these men, I am talking to you.

To start, you have to think about several different things.

First, you fantasize about female domination but maybe your wife doesn’t.

There are probably some troubles in your couple. You should try to solve the problems.

You must make the first step but do it slowly. For example, you don’t talk at the beginning to your wife about the chastity cage.

For a woman who has never heard about a chastity cage, this object can be seen as a torture tool. Your wife loves you and she doesn’t want to hurt you. She probably wouldn’t understand how you could enjoy wearing it.

You can start by explaining to her this is a sex toy to play with during your sexual relations.

Don’t talk about the fact that some submissive men wear it all the times.

Secondly, you must not require, you just offer.

To be more precise, you should offer yourself as a gift. At the beginning, you must forget all the BDSM scenarios you dreamt about.

You must find what she could enjoy about this kind of relationship. I have seen too often many submissive men asking their partner for some punishments. You must remember you are not the one who decides this in the relationship. You are the one who obeys and does whatever your mistress wants. In your case, you must help your woman to find what she could like and enjoy.

Don’t be what we could call a “subdominator”!!!

Thirdly, you must be patient but you must still progress even if it is slowly.

You must give her some time to get used to and enjoy this new kind of relationship.

You must offer to try different things until she doesn’t want to come back to your former relationship.

Do you still want some advices?

There are no magical “recipes”. Each situation is different. Some men asked me to analyze precisely their situation.

Now, I am trying to give you some general advices. You could pick up the most appropriate ones to your situation.

You must serve her and be helpful to her. She is tired when she comes back from work. You help her to remove her shoes and you massage her feet. She is doing the house keeping, you offer to do it for her. You tell her that from now this is your duty to do the housekeeping. If you want to watch a soccer game on TV, you must ask her permission in case she would like to watch something else.

You always have to remember that your propose is but she is the one who will decide.

You must do all the tasks she doesn’t like to do. She’s probably going to enjoy this new situation. If once you don’t do the housekeeping, she is going to ask you to do it.

At this point, maybe you could start to explain to her what you are really expecting from your relationship.

For example, you could tell her that you think she is the one in your relationship who has the most ability to make the decisions. If she agrees, you will ask her opinion each time you have to make a decision. You could give her some time to think about this new proposal.

You can tell her that these new rules in your relationship could stay your secret.

When you talk to her, you must use some respectful expressions.

Few years ago I wrote an article about “Yes Darling”.

Don’t say anything other then “yes” or “thank you” but “Yes Darling” or “thank you Darling” or “Darling what do you want for your diner?” or “Darling May I help you?

Like that, you show her how much you love her and you are here to adore her.

What about when you are in bed?

If it is not already the case, ask her to come over. Find some advantages for her.

If it is already the case, make her taste your tongue.

To be over the man is a sexual position that femdom enjoy a lot. They are in control.

Follow this simple rule; do what you can but do not enjoy sexually first. You have to wait she does first and maybe several times. You can tell her this new rule is part of a game.

You have to buy some sex toys and just show her at the beginning. You have to explain to her if she does not already know what you can do with them.

You should try to be funny. Maybe you could use some of theses sex toys after a while. She has to get used to it.

What about the chastity cage?

This is a great debate. I think you should try to use it very quickly, even if a lot of women are reluctant at the beginning.

You can give two reasons for the fact you should do it.

First reason, this is a sex toy for a sexual game. If you wear the chastity cage, you can’t do anything for several days. Then, you will look forward your next sexual night. You will be crazy about her.

Second reason, the chastity cage is a good tool to prevent you from masturbating.

You can tell her that you are addicted to masturbation. This is the only way to stop you from doing it

Then she allows you to wear it. I don’t know if you have to wait a long time or not to give her the key to the chastity cage. It depends because each couple is different.

Last thing, you have to be sure that you really want to live as a submissive man before starting anything.

Some men are not ready for that and will never be. This is just a fantasy for them

Written by Marie-Severine from the French blog jedominemonmari.com

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